


College, Coffee, and Crushes

by nameless_wanderer



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: College AU, M/M, Spierfeld Week, day 4 of spierfeld week, fluff with a tiny bit of angst in the middle, it's a college au i'm not sure what to say, martin and simon are roommates, taylor is way ooc and also weirdly important to this fic, teen is for language as always, that never really amounts to anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14302098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nameless_wanderer/pseuds/nameless_wanderer
Summary: Simon arrives at his lecture class fifteen minutes too early. But that's okay because soon he's joined by Bram Greenfeld. The two quickly become friends, trying to survive college one cup of coffee at a time, and hoping that maybe, just maybe, their crushes will turn into something more.





	College, Coffee, and Crushes

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone down on the campus, the rustic, historic buildings meshing with the new, modern ones, the animals were at peace, and Simon Spier was positive he was gonna be late for his next class.

It was his first day at college, and most everything was going well, but he didn’t know the names of any of the halls on campus. He kept looking down at his phone, switching between his schedule and a map of the campus.

 _So if I’m here, and that street’s there, then I need to take a right and then it’s a straight shot. Right?_ Simon picked up his pace, not quite jogging to the next building. He kept looking at the time, positive he was running late. When he finally arrived outside the room, right when class was supposed to be starting, he was surprised to see a mass exodus of students. For a second his heart stopped. Had he missed class on the first day? A few deep breaths later he had reassured himself that was not the case. The last class was probably late getting out or something. He pulled out his phone again and looked at the schedule.

His class started in fifteen minutes. Not on the hour.

 _Why? Why_ would his class be at such a weird time? He sighed as he watched the students from the previous class exit. He didn’t understand college. He didn’t feel like he was ready for it. And yet, here he was, already enrolled and halfway through his first day. When the crowd had thinned, he walked through the doors (after double checking that he did in fact have the right room in the right building. As he walked in, he watched as a woman began setting up a powerpoint on the computer. One look at the powerpoint assuaged any fear he might still have that he was in the wrong place. He quietly took a seat towards the back of the room. He noticed two or three others who had gotten here too early do the same around the room. He could tell this was going to be a big class.

So he had to wait fifteen minutes for class to begin. He began doodling in the margins of his new notebook. He checked his phone (no new notifications). He waited as long as he possibly could before checking the time again. Only two minutes had passed. He groaned. It was going to be a long class period.

“Is this seat taken?” a voice coming from his left said. Simon looked over and found himself looking at one of the cutest boys he’d ever seen. He tried not to blush as he shook his head and offered the seat to the boy. “Cool, thanks.” The boy smiled at Simon, and god, what an adorable smile. “I thought I was gonna be late… but nobody’s here?” Simon nodded, understanding.

“The class doesn’t start on the hour.”

“Ah. So when does it start?”

“About…” Simon pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Twelve minutes.” He sighed. “God, this day just keeps dragging on.” The boy sitting next to him chuckled.

“Tell me about it. I’m paranoid that I’m forgetting my books, or I’m gonna be late, or something. When really half the professors are like ‘okay, today we’re reading the syllabus because I’m convinced half of you can’t read.’” Simon chuckled. The boy was right, that had pretty much been his experience too. “I’m Bram, by the way.” The boy said as he extended his hand. Simon took it, introducing himself.

“Simon.”

“Well, we have twelve minutes to kill. Tell me about yourself, Simon.” Simon shrugged.

“There’s really not much to say. I’m not all that interesting.”

“Really? No hobbies or nothin’?” Simon looked down.

“Well, I do like theater,” he admitted, somewhat embarrassed. “There’s auditions for a musical written by a student coming up. I was thinking maybe I could check it out, try to get on the crew or something.”

“You should audition.” Simon stared at Bram. He was amused, but he also found the statement just a tad presumptuous.

“Really, guy-I-just-met?” The boy chuckled.

“ _Bram_.”

“Right. Bram. Why do you think I should audition?” Bram shrugged.

“I dunno. Something about you makes me think you like performing.” Bram’s smile was so pure and well meaning. Simon realized he hadn’t meant anything by his comment other than what he said. If it was presumptuous, it was the well-meaning kind. He guiltily smiled back at Bram.

“Okay, I do. I do! I’m so, so bad at it. But I love it.”

“I doubt you’re really all that bad.”

“That’s because you haven’t seen me in action yet. So what about you, Bram? Any hobbies?”

“Yeah, I’m going out for soccer.”

“Oh really? My best friend, Nick, he’s a soccer player.”

“Really? Does he go here?”

Simon shook his head. “No, he got a really good scholarship in state, so.” Bram nodded.

“My best friend, Garrett, he was gonna go here but he got a better scholarship elsewhere.” Simon nodded, a little sadly.

“Doesn’t it suck not getting to see your best friends every day?”

“Dude, I feel you.”

“You grow up around these people for years—”

“And then you turn around and have to make new friends.” Simon nodded, both laughing somewhat bitterly. Bram cleared his throat. “But, uh, making new friends doesn’t sound all that bad.” Simon smiled brightly at him.

“Yeah, I guess not.”

* * *

Bram quickly became his closest friend on campus. Which wasn’t saying much, considering they only saw each other twice a week for an hour and a half, but it strangely meant a lot to Simon. He slowly got used to college, to keeping his room tidy, to never seeing his roommate, to going to musical rehearsal most evenings, to doing his work in a timely manner.

Most of his work, anyway. He was really bad at procrastinating essays. It wasn’t that he didn’t like writing them (in fact, he actually liked writing), it was the concept of sitting down for several hours and planning and writing an essay that freaked him out, and he could never find a way to work through that. At least not until the day before it was due. Then he panicked and did it all at once.

Such was the case one Tuesday evening, and all would’ve been well, except the wifi in the dorms went down, causing him to lose access to several sources he had been using as well as preventing him from turning the essay in. He’d stayed up all night trying to finish the essay, hoping and praying that the wifi would go just a little faster, wishing his laptop battery would last just a little longer. He felt so much relief wash over him when he finally hit submit. And then that relief turned to dread as he realized it was nearly 6:00 am already, and he had an 8:00 am class. He groaned as quietly as he could before flopping into bed, praying he would get at least some sleep before he had to wake up. Miraculously, he did manage to get some sleep. Unfortunately, it was only about an hour.

He went through the day feeling like a zombie, his eyelids feeling as though they were made of lead and every muscle in his body begging him to sleep. He didn’t even remember how he had gotten to his lecture class, it was just like several hours of his life had passed without him registering them. As he stood in front of his normal spot, early as usual, he let his backpack fall off his shoulders, fell back into his chair and slumped forward on the desk. He covered his head with his (usually decorative) hoodie and closed his eyes. He just wanted to sleep.

“Bad day?” He could hear the sounds of shuffling as Bram sat down next to him. Simon didn’t acknowledge him. He just wanted to sleep. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m so. Fucking. Exhausted,” Simon managed to grumble out. “I stayed up all night to write an essay. And I didn’t get much sleep yesterday because I was worried about the speech.” There was a few seconds of silence. Simon imagined Bram looking over him curiously.

“Sounds like you could go for some coffee. Let’s go.” Bram patted Simon’s shoulder as he said this. It took Simon a few seconds to fully process what Bram said. It took a few more to understand what he meant. And it took just two more to process the gesture. He finally lifted his head and looked at Bram.

“Dude, class is about to start in… very soon. I can’t afford to have an absence.”

Bram didn’t seemed bothered. “So we’ll wait until the signup sheet is passed around and we’ll slip out after that. They’re not gonna notice or care. And all the reading for today is online anyway.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Simon was very surprised to find himself at a coffee shop a short twenty minutes later. He didn’t quite remember leaving the lecture hall, he just remembered being too tired to argue. He remembered almost falling asleep in the passenger seat, Bram’s soothing voice lulling him. And suddenly he and Bram were in line to get coffee.

“What’ll you have, Si?” Simon stared blankly at the board. He knew what the words said, but he couldn’t exactly read them.

“I’m gonna stare at the board for five minutes before getting a plain iced coffee like always.”

Bram smiled at him. “Sounds perfect.” The two shuffle forward in line. “Can we please have two iced coffees, one with milk?” Simon is somehow lucid enough to catch what’s going on.

“No, no, just the iced coffee with milk. I can pay for myself, Bram.”

“Too late,” Bram said as he handed the cashier the money.

“You are actually the worst right now.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll pay me back somehow.” Simon was so annoyed at everything in that moment, but that smile. God, that smile. It was too adorable to be mad at. So Simon grumbled something under his breath that even he didn’t quite understand as the two found a table. Simon stared out the window, dazed and unfocused until Bram returned a few minutes later with their coffee. He didn’t even remember Bram leaving the table. Simon side-eyed Bram as he grabbed his drink and took a sip. But as soon as he did, he realized how much he needed it.

“Thanks. I can’t believe I forgot to get coffee this morning. That’s not something I do.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Bram kept smiling at Simon as he took a sip of his own coffee. “So how you holding up?”

“Like, today or in general?” Bram stared at him, not answering. There’s something else in his eyes. Simon couldn’t quite identify the emotion, but it was friendly, and caring, and worried. Simon sighed. “I dunno. I mean, today I’m exhausted and that fucking sucks. But, like… most days it feels like I’m struggling to stay afloat…” Simon’s speech was slow and faltering. “I dunno. Just feels like, you know… I’m just making a mistake? No matter what I’m doing. I just… I just can’t do anything right.” Simon looked over at Bram, and was confused when he came face to face with an angry sneer, disgusted by what he just said.

“Stop being mean to my friend!” Bram nearly shouted. Simon knew he was exhausted, but this seemed to come out of left field.

“...What?”

“You’re being a real dick to my friend right now, and he’s had a real rough couple of days. Take it back.” Simon stared at him, confused. He reexamined the statements in his head until he realized what Bram meant.

“I take it back. I didn’t realize I was being so hard on myself.”

“It’s okay, Simon. We all have bad days, we just have to be careful about giving into negativity.”

“That was surprisingly effective, by the way.”

“I learned a while ago that you can’t fight self-hatred with sympathy. You gotta fight it with anger. Reframe the way you’re speaking.” Simon allowed the corners of his lips to tilt up slight, expressing his appreciation. The two sipped their coffee, enjoying each other’s presence. Simon wasn’t magically not exhausted, but the coffee definitely helped him.

“Okay so I gotta confess, I have another, more selfish reason for taking you here today.” Simon raised an eyebrow, still sipping his coffee. “So there’s a game next Friday, and I know normally you have rehearsal on Friday, but I checked with the others and apparently something’s going on that day and—bottom line, you have some free time on Friday and I was hoping you would maybe wanna come to the game? Maybe see me in my element?” It took Simon a second to realize that he was being asked a question. He straightened up, looking at Bram. The boy betrayed no sign that this was an important request for him, save for the hopeful glint in his eyes. “Come on, show some school spirit!”

“Yeah, of course man.” For a split second, Simon saw relief wash over Bram’s face. He quickly regained his composure and grinned, recovering the casual atmosphere. “I mean you’re gonna have to remind me when I’m actually awake, because lord knows I’m not gonna remember any of this.”

“I’ll text you the info. I can’t believe ‘school spirit’ is what convinced you.”

“That’s not what convinced me.” Bram tilted his head, curious. “I wanna support you.” Simon could’ve been wrong, but he thought he saw Bram’s cheeks flush, just the tiniest bit.

“Thanks, man.” Bram pulled out his phone and checked the lock screen. “Alright, we still have like an hour before class ends. How many more classes do you have today?”

Simon thought about it. “So today is Wednesday…” he mumbled, counting on his fingers. “I have Hemings right after this, but that’s it.”

Bram chuckled. “No you don’t. She’s out of town for a wedding, remember?”

“Oh yeah…”

“Come on, we’re taking you back to the dorm. You need some sleep.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

“Let’s get going.” Simon didn’t move. He didn’t process what Bram had said. And then he did.

“Wait, now? But this is like, the one time we get to hang out.”

“It’s chill. We’ll just have to talk a lot during next week’s classes. Come on, you need sleep.” Simon sighed as Bram helped him up and the two walked back to Bram’s car. He sipped on his straw until there was melted ice than coffee in his cup, staring out the window as Bram hummed along with the radio. He wasn’t even aware they had arrived until Bram tapped his arm. He didn’t even notice as Bram followed him inside and to his room until he was about to unlock the door.

“You didn’t have to follow me in.” He almost wanted to push Bram away so he wouldn’t see his room. His side of it wasn’t too bad, admittedly. But his roommates...

“Just trying to make sure you’re okay. Did you not want me to follow you?”

“I’m not sure.” Simon unlocked the door and opened it up, somewhat surprised to see his roommate sitting at his desk. He turned to acknowledge Simon, but his eyes immediately went to Bram. Simon felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked to see Bram regarding him warmly.

“Get some rest Simon. I’ll see you next week. And I’ll text you the game details.” Simon nodded.

“See ya later, Bram.” Bram gave him a playful wink as he turned around and walked away. Simon closed the door behind him, sighing before turning around and falling face down onto his bed.

“Hey Simple Simon. Thought you had a class right now.”

“Nobody calls me that.”

“…So…who was that?”

“Bram. We have class together.”

“Is he your boyfriend or something?” the other boy joked.

“Martin, can you please just be quiet and let me sleep?”

The other boy remained silent. He returned to his work as Simon slowly let his breathing relax and rested his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Martin said after some time. “I know you’ve had a stressful few days, and that joke was in poor taste. I tend to say a lot of shit without thinking about it, and I don’t even know I’m doing it. I’m trying to get better though. And I didn’t mean anything by it though. Like, my brother’s gay and, you know, I’m cool with it. Not to say that I think your gay or anything, or to assume—ugh, there I go again.” Martin sighed. “I just don’t want you to think of me as that asshole you’re roommates with. I want you to feel… you know, at least comfortable enough to live around me. You get it, right Simon?” Martin waited for a response he didn’t receive. “If there’s anything you need, I’m here. Let me know if you’re hearing me.”

But Simon didn’t hear. He had already drifted off to sleep, with Bram’s voice ringing in his ears.

* * *

It was the night of the game, and Simon was oddly excited. He hadn’t been to a game since high school, when he’d watched Nick play. Of course, then he’d had Leah and Abby to watch with. It felt a little strange to be watching by himself, especially when he was surrounded by people he vaguely recognized. He looked towards the field. Bram wasn’t hard to pick out. He was looking towards the stands, eyes scanning for something. His eyes stopped when he saw Simon and he smiled at him. Simon smiled back and waved at him. Bram smiled, Simon staring at his calves as he turned away.

Simon had to admit, he liked this. Even if he didn’t know anybody here.

“Simon? Simon Spier?” He turned around towards the voice and saw a girl walking through the stands. His jaw nearly dropped.

“Taylor Metternich?”

She gasped, a surprised smile on her face. She turned to a few girls behind her. “I’ll catch up with you in a bit.” She walked down towards Simon as the other girls walked away. “Oh my god! What are you doing here?”

“I came to check out the game! Wait, you don’t—you don’t go here, do you?” Taylor laughed at the question.

“No, no, no!”

“Oh thank god! That would’ve been embarrassing. Going to the same school as you the whole semester and not even knowing.”

“No, my friend is dating one of the players, she made us drive all the way out here.”

“Where are you going again?”

“About an hour away.” Simon nodded. “Anyway, why are you here? Forgive me, but somehow I doubt Spier gained school spirit after high school.” Simon grimaced.

“Well you’re not wrong. No, actually my friend invited me. He’s on the team.”

“Which one?” Simon turned back to the field. He looked until he saw Bram, and pointed him out to Taylor.

“Bram. We sit next to each other in class.”

“Damn, he’s cute. I mean, I’ll still tell my friend her boyfriend is the cutest on the team, but honestly it’s no contest. You have really cute friends, Simon.” Simon chuckled.

“So what’s up with you? You’re still doing theater, right?”

“Obviously. I was actually cast recently in a production of _Heathers_.”

“Let me guess: Veronica Sawyer?” Taylor shook her head.

“No actually. The real world is a lot tougher than high school. Don’t worry, I didn’t go full diva just because I didn’t get the lead.” She had a somber expression on her face.

“I’m sorry. Just means you gotta keep working, right?” Taylor didn’t respond. There was something unreadable in her eyes. And Simon realized. “So you weren’t cast as Veronica. _But_ …”

“...I got cast as McNamara!” She couldn’t hide the smile anymore.

“That’s amazing! You’re gonna kill it on ‘Lifeboat.’ You gotta tell me when it’s showing, I’ll see if I can’t make time to see it.”

“That’s really nice of you to say.” She looked around, then leaned in to whisper. “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but I’m actually… starting to get into the behind the scenes work.” Simon gasped scandalously.

“Taylor Metternich doesn’t want to hog the spotlight anymore?! What has this world come to!” Taylor laughed.

“It’s really cool, looking at the book and the light and the stage. I think I’m starting to appreciate that theater really is a collaborative medium, and every detail is so important. It’s honestly amazing to watch everything come together in like a real, live production.”

“I know that feeling.” He smiled wistfully at her. Sure, Taylor had been annoying in high school, but she was also incredibly talented, and there was something different about the way she was talking about theater. It made him happy that she was appreciating the non-acting parts of theater.

“So what about you, you doing anything?” Simon chuckled, suddenly self conscious.

“Yeah, um, there’s this musical that a student here wrote that I auditioned for. I got ensemble male number two, so…” He felt awkward, talking about his minimal part to someone who had mastered the craft.

“That’s amazing! You have to tell me all about it.”

“Really?” He looked at her, expecting a polite smile. What he received was genuine curiosity. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “I mean it’s funny, I’m kinda in the reverse position as you. I mean, I love theater but I think I’ll only ever be successful behind-the scenes. I’ve been talking with the person who wrote it, figuring out how the script and the songs and the lyrics were written, talking with the director about the staging and stuff.” He looked away. “But if I’m being really honest, I love performing. I wasn’t even gonna audition, but I really, _really_ connected with this show, and I just…I had to try. I know nothing will come of it… but I love being on the stage.” He laughed at himself. “I’ve even considered taking acting and singing lessons, which I know must seem ridiculous to someone like you.”

“Are you kidding me, Spier? You should do it!” Simon looked at her, unsure.

“You think so?”

“Yeah! Look, Simon, I don’t think I have to stroke your ego here, tell you you were the best actor I’ve ever worked with. But I’m not lying when I say you have an energy when you perform. Even if your singing is a bit too sharp, or your lines are stiff, or you’re actions are too deliberate, the audience connects with you. They see you have passion, and they really love you for it.” Simon cracked a smile.

“You think so?”

“Definitely. So tell me all about this musical you connected with.” Simon sighed, content.

“You really wanna know?” Taylor nodded enthusiastically. “Ok. It’s called _Losing Faith_ and it’s about this girl who grows up in a Catholic community, but one day it accidentally gets out that she doesn’t believe in god. Everything is just about the reaction and the fallout to that.”

Taylor frowned. “And you connected with that…?”

“Well, it’s not just about that. It’s about being a teenager, and how hard it is to go against the grain. How hard it is to be different from your peers, or to disagree with your parents, or to be lost, or to be gay—” He hadn’t meant to say that. And he hadn’t meant to stop there. But he did. And… he did. Taylor didn’t react. “Yeah, um, every single named character is gay, or bi, or trans, or confused and… and I connected with that material. Because I know what it’s like to go through high school…” Simon gulped. “I’m gay.”

“Oh.” The two stared at the field, not speaking for a second. “...Are you, like, out and proud now that you’re in college?”

Simon shook his head and looked down at his hands. “No. Nobody outside my family knows. Not even Leah or Nick.”

“Huh.”

“I’m not sure why I told you.”

“...Well, I’m glad you found this show. You’ll have to tell me when it’s getting performed. It sounds really interesting.” Simon nodded, his mind a million miles away. “So, does ensemble male number two have any notable lines?” Simon felt his lips twitch, a small smirk.

“I get to harass the two mains for not dating already (the guy turns out to be gay so), and then I get a few solo lines in the ensemble numbers. Maybe if you’re ever here again you could help me with my pitch?”

“Honestly, Simon, it’s your tone that needs work more than anything.” Both laughed at this, and it was weirdly familiar. They’d never been close like this in high school. Maybe it was nostalgia for what once was. Or maybe they’d changed. “Hey, Simon? That was a hard thing you just did. I’m really glad you felt comfortable enough to say it. You’ve really changed.” She pulled him in for a hug, which he awkwardly reciprocated. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” The two separated again and Simon looked back at the field towards Bram. He seemed to be staring right at him. But from this distance, Simon couldn’t read his expression. He smiled and waved at Bram. Taylor looked at him, a mischievous grin sliding across her face.

“So, Bram…” Simon laughed.

“Ok, yes, he’s cute. He’s really cute. And I kinda like him.”

“Why don’t you tell him that, then? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Simon stared at Taylor with an amused expression. “He turns out to be a homophobe and hates me forever.” Taylor rolled her eyes. “We’re friends. And I like that we’re friends. He’s a really awesome guy to be around.”

“And he’s straight?”

“I don’t… I’m not sure. We don’t talk about that.”

“Then why don’t you find out?”

“Because I’m fine not knowing. Some people hate uncertainty, but I don’t mind so much. I think in this case, I’d rather live in blissful uncertainty as his friend than in awkward and bad certainty that he doesn’t like me and I’ve made things weird. I mean, that uncertainty can turn into a certainty of its own, a certain guaranteed friendship. And I’m fine being his friend. I’d be honored to be his friend.” Taylor stared at him, something almost resembling pity across her face.

“I should really get back to my friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Sorry to keep you.”

“No, don’t apologize. I really enjoyed catching up. And if you ever need someone to talk to about… you know… I’m here for you.” She stood up and smiled at him. “I’ll see you later, Spier.”

“See you later, Taylor.” As she walked away he tried to breathe deeply and slow his heart rate. He spent the rest of the night ignoring what he’d just told her, just watching the goal. He cheered the loudest when Bram had the ball, and spent the rest of the night hoping Bram would look over.

* * *

The next Monday, Bram was on time for the lecture. Which Simon found strange, as Bram was never anything less than super early, like him. Bram shrugged his backpack off and placed it on the ground without so much of a nod towards Simon as he sat down.

“Hey, I was getting worried. Where were you?”

“Decided to take a different path to class.” Bram’s response was unusually curt.

“Oh...kay… did you do the reading for today? I’m so behind.”

“You probably should’ve done it.” Simon wasn’t sure why, but Bram seemed to be acting different today. Rude. Angry.

For the rest of class, all his attempts to talk to Bram failed. He would dismiss him, or cut him off, or ignore him. Simon felt like it was the longest hour and a half of his life. As class was dismissed, he turned to Bram, who was trying to pack up his stuff as quickly as he could.

“Okay, why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m not acting weird.”

“Yeah. You are.”

Bram shrugged. “I’m tired.”

“I’ve seen you tired, and that’s not it.” Bram shook his head and turned away from Simon. Simon’s eyes opened in understanding. “Are you angry at me?” Bram scoffed. And tried to shuffle away. Simon grabbed his stuff and followed him. “Okay, come on, let’s go get a cup of coffee. My treat.”

“Can’t, I have Conwick next.”

“No, you don’t. Conwick cancelled all of today’s classes. Come on, let’s go to my car.” Bram didn’t look at him. “I still have to make up for the last time we got coffee.” Bram stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at Simon, mouth twitching in rage.

But he rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s go get coffee.”

Simon noticed Bram’s angry trudge, how he nearly slammed the door as he got in the car, how once again the ride was silent but for a completely different reason. He noticed how Bram didn’t look at him or even follow him to the counter. He just sat down at the closest, least comfortable table. All of this troubled Simon. He wasn’t sure how to respond. Simon sighed, bracing himself as he walked to the table.

“Two iced coffees,” he said as he placed his coffee down. “One with milk,” he said, attempting to hand the other to Bram. Bram kept staring at the window, arms crossed and not looking at Simon. Simon awkwardly placed it down in front of Bram. Simon had a few sips of his coffee, while Bram just sat there, his silence piercing more than any words ever could.

“Okay, can you at least tell me why you’re angry at me?” Simon noticed Bram bouncing his leg. Bram blinked, refusing to look over. “Okay, if I guess it will you tell me?” Bram said nothing. “Okay, you’re angry because I didn’t know Bram was short for Abraham until this weekend and you think I’m an awful friend!” Bram still remained silent. “Right, you couldn’t have known I didn’t know that. Um… Okay. You found out that as a child I accidentally caused a string of events that would lead to the greatest tragedy of your life and you’re silently plotting your cold-blooded revenge!” Bram didn’t turn his head, but darted his eyes to look at Simon before rolling them and looking back out the window. “Too dark? Okay, okay...Oh, I’ve got it! You heard me use the word ‘nauseous’ when I meant ‘nauseated’ and you’re angry that you’ve been friends with an imbecile this whole time!” For a millisecond, Bram broke. His lip quivered upwards in a smile before he returned it to it’s bored, neutral position. “I gotta say, if that’s the reason, I feel like that’s on you. You should’ve known I was an imbecile from the moment we met.” Bram sighed and dropped his arms. He didn’t look angry anymore, he just looked tired. “Come on, what’s going on? I feel like you’re mad at me and I can’t even apologize because I don’t know what I did.”

Bram rested held his chin in his hand, looking down at the table as he grabbed the coffee that had slowly been watered down. “Did you enjoy the game?” He took a sip while he heard Simon’s reply.

Simon furrowed his brows, confused. “Yes. It was a lot of fun, I’m glad I got to see you play. You crushed the other team, and I was yelling my head off every time you scored a goal. I thought you saw me in the crowd.” Bram set the coffee down, not looking up at Simon. Simon didn’t know how to respond.

“I hate this, Bram. I know you’re angry but I don’t know what I did. I’m sorry. I wish I could undo it. Whatever I did that’s making you feel this way, I’m sorry, and I’ll never do it again as long as I live. I don’t even know what I’m apologizing for. I just know that I don’t like this. You’re my closest friend on campus and I don’t care if that’s sad to admit, it’s true. I love spending time with you and I’d do anything to just go back to the way things were. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

Bram took a long sip of his iced coffee, pensive. He exhaled and turned back to Simon.

“No.” Simon felt his heart sink.

“Oh.”

“Because there’s nothing to forgive.” Bram’s expression softened. “You didn’t do anything wrong, this whole thing…it’s my issue and I have to work through it. I guess I just… misunderstood something. I dunno.” Simon frowned. He wished Bram would just come out and tell him what was wrong, instead of playing these cryptic games.

“Are we good?”

Bram nodded. “Yeah, Simon. We’re good.” Simon breathed a sigh of relief. “So, why don’t you tell me about that girl you like.” Simon leaned back in surprise and shot Bram a look of confusion.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“That girl you invited to the game.” Simon frowned.

“I didn’t invite anyone to the game, dude.”

“Come on, I saw you two. You were chatting it up, you were staring at your hands and blushing. I saw you two hug. You’re clearly into her.” It suddenly clicked in Simon’s head.

“Wait, _Taylor?_ You think I like _Taylor?_ ”

“Come on, I’m not blind Spier. What’s the deal with you two?” Simon almost had to laugh.

“You really wanna know what the deal with Taylor is?” Bram nodded, almost as if to tell Simon to get to the damn point already. “Alright. Her name is Taylor Metternich. We did theater together in high school— _Cabaret_ , _Oliver!_ , _Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat_ —and she ran into me at the game. I should point out that she was always the lead and I was always an ensemble member. We were talking because we wanted to catch up, I was blushing and looking at my hands because I said something I hadn’t meant to, and she hugged me because she wanted me to know she accepted me.” Bram’s mouth hung slightly open in confusion, unable to find the words to ask the question on his mind. “I accidentally came out to her. I’m gay.” Bram stared at Simon, eyes wide in surprised.

“Oh.” Bram sat up straight and looked at Simon, his face rueful for some reason. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

Simon shrugged. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t really tell people. In fact, you’re the only other person outside of my family that I’ve told.” Simon sighed. “I really like being your friend Bram, and I hope this doesn’t change that, and I hope this doesn’t change how you think of me.” Bram nodded, seemingly at a loss for words. He straightened his back, and took a deep breath thinking of exactly what to say.

“It does change things.” Simon stopped breathing. “Because now I think of you as being ten times braver than I initially thought you were.” Simon exhaled, relieved, and then laughed.

“You gotta stop doing that to me, Bram.”

“Sorry. Guess it’s just in my nature to be dramatic.”

“You should try theater on for size.” Bram smirked at Simon.

“I think I’ll leave that to the professionals.”

* * *

Bram had been jumpy all class. Simon wasn’t sure why, but he seemed energetic, excited. Like he was hiding something. Simon found it suspicious when he told Simon to leave class without him, that he’d catch up, but he didn’t question any further. He’d walked out of the room and outside, sitting down on a bench outside the building to wait for Bram. He waved Bram over as the boy practically sprinted over to the bench, phone in hand.

“So dude, I just made the most amazing discovery recently!” Bram held out his phone to reveal a video chat of a boy about their age.

“Dude, you only just recently discovered facetime? There’s a lot to unpack there, but let me start with the obvious: I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but our generation texts.” The boy on the other end laughed.

“I’ve been trying to tell him that for years.” Simon rolled his eyes.

“My friend Leah is the same way.”

“Simon,” Bram interrupted, “this is Garrett, my best friend.”

“Oh, yeah. Bram’s mentioned you quite a bit.”

“I guarantee it’s nothing to the way he talks about you. ‘Simon this’ and ‘Simon that,’ it just goes on and on and on.” Simon felt himself blushing the tiniest bit. “You better not be gunning for my position of best friend.” Simon laughed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Garrett.”

“So anyway, I was talking with Garrett about soccer, like we do, and we got to talking about soccer players we knew. Bottom line, guess who’s there with Garrett right now?”

Simon quickly went through his mind, looking for the name of a soccer player he might know. He was tragically coming up short.

“I dunno, Christiano Ronaldo?”

“Even better than him,” a voice from the other end said. Garrett tilted the phone, and Simon found himself staring right at—

“Nick?! No way!”

“‘Sup Spier? Miss me?”

“Every damn day, dude! How—”

“Turns out he and Garrett go to the same college,” Bram explained. “Apparently they became friends pretty quickly.”

“Yeah, he’s alright,” Garrett said.

“How did we not know this sooner?” Simon asked

“Because you never use facebook, dumbass!” Nick retorted.

“Okay, but in my defence, who still uses facebook?” All four laughed. It was a strange kind of hang out, but it was making Simon happy. “How’s Abby?”

“She’s doing great, sends her love. She says you need to call her right away because you two have a lot to catch up on.” Simon nodded. He had been forgetting to call his friends recently. “How’s Leah?”

“Oh, you know Leah, elusive as usual. She just disappeared into her studies and her drumming, I guess.”

“That sounds like her.”

“So what’s up, are you doing anything interesting this semester?” Simon shrugged.

“Not really.” Bram scoffed.

“Come on, what about the musical?” Bram asked.

“Oh, you’re still into theater?” Nick said, only slightly surprised.

“So that’s what he does,” Garrett said cryptically.

“Okay, well the musical is fun. We’re doing like a preview or something next Thursday—”

“Dude!” Bram cut him off. “Seriously? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I dunno, must’ve slipped my mind. I figured you had soccer practice and couldn’t go—”

“No, I’m going, and you can’t stop me.” Simon rolled his eyes but smiled at Bram.

“Shit, we should probably get going,” Nick said, looking away, “but Simon, you have to tell me all about how your performance goes, and Abby’s gonna wanna know about it as well.”

“Alright, I’ll let you know.”

“Spier, take good care of Bram for me,” Garrett said, a smile on his face.

“You’d better take excellent care of Nick for me,” Simon replied.

“Alright, see you guys later!” Bram said, hanging up the call. Simon turned to look at him.

“That’s crazy! What are the odds?”

“It’s a small world, Simon Spier. So what time is your musical?” Simon was caught off guard by the question. He looked up, trying to remember.

“Seven thirty, I think. You don’t have to come, it’s not even like a quote-unquote real performance, it’s just kind of like an observed run through.”

“Seven thirty on Thursday. I’ll be there.” The two smiled at each other, undisturbed by the world just beyond the park bench. Bram glanced down at his phone.

“Shit! I’m gonna be late for Conwick.”

“And I have to get to Hemings.”

“But I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, definitely.” As the two sprinted in opposite directions, Simon couldn’t seem to stop the wide grin that broke out across his face.

* * *

He had given it his all. He had performed a new musical in front of an audience, and even though his role was small, he felt exhausted. The music was hard, the choreography was intense, and the show was very emotional, but he had done the best he could. He’d sung, danced, and acted his heart out.

And he felt it hadn’t turned out half bad.

Simon had avoided looking out at the audience too much, but he was grateful when he saw Bram sitting just a few rows back (and he was even more grateful when he realized that Bram had in fact stuck around after intermission). The real surprise was seeing Taylor. And the _real_ surprise was realizing she and Bram had been sitting next to each other the whole time.

But now it was all over. At least until the next performance. He had spent some time backstage, congratulating the main cast and trying to be social. He’d helped put things away and did everything he could to make the crew’s job easier. He’d found the guy who’d written the show and thanked and congratulated him, and finally he was ready to leave.

He desperately needed a shower.

He’d walked into the main hall, and ran into—

“Martin?”

“Hey, dude, congratulations!”

“Uh, thanks. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Are you kidding? I love theater! Used to be a bit of a thespian myself back in high school.” Simon nodded. Martin leaned in close then whispered, “mostly it was to get close to the theater girls.” Simon chuckled and nodded.

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“Oh! I think I should let you know, um, Bram came.”

“Yeah, I know I saw him. I invited—well, really, he invited himself. But I wanted him to be here.”

“Alright, just wanted to prepare you for…” Martin cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll see you back at the dorm. Unless… you don’t want me there tonight?” Martin’s question struck Simon as odd, but Martin was clearly trying to ask a question within the question.

“Nah, I’ll… I’ll see you there. Thanks for coming.” He walked past Martin towards the water fountains. He desperately needed a drink. He’d just taken three huge gulps of water when a voice came from behind.

“Simon!” He stood back up straight, wiped his mouth, and turned around just in time to awkwardly accept Taylor’s unexpected hug.

“Taylor.” She pulled away, but held onto his shoulders.

“That was amazing! You killed it out there!” Simon chuckled.

“It’s all the book and the music.”

“No, seriously! You carried the ensemble during that ‘She Will Learn’ number. And the lines you had, perfect delivery. With a little bit of work, you could be lead material.” Simon rolled his eyes. “I’m serious! Promise me you’ll consider those acting and singing lessons.” He laughed but nodded.

“I will.”

“Oh, and I met the adorable soccer player,” she said, grinning widely at Simon.

“Yeah, Bram. I saw you guys were sitting next to each other.”

“Honestly Simon, what a sweetheart. I think you have a very good taste in crushes.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“He’s waiting outside the side entrance for you. Something tells me you’re not gonna wanna keep him waiting.” She winked as she said this. He stared back in confusion.

“Okay…”

“Well, don’t just stand here! Go talk to him.” Simon laughed as he walked down the hall. “Keep me updated on Heathers!” he called after her. He left to the lobby, said a few congratulations to actors he passed, and braced himself as he walked out the side entrance and into the cold night air.

Bram was standing there waiting for him, a bright smile on his face and a bouquet in his hands. Simon’s mouth opened wide, and he covered it with his hand as he walked towards Bram.

“No, I’m tired and emotionally drained, you cannot give me that bouquet, I will burst into tears.” Bram just smiled even wider.

“Too late, Simon. You’ve earned it. You were fantastic.” He handed the bouquet to Simon, who held it close to his chest. He looked down at it, and true to his word when he looked back up, a few tears were on his cheek.

“Thank you.” He chuckled. “Guess I’m really good at berating a semi-closeted gay kid. Ironic.” Bram laughed with him.

“I was thinking more about your line in that ‘blame’ song. What was it?”

Simon nodded. “Uh, ‘Blame Game.’ It’s uh,” he began singing, “You can’t blame me for lying.”

Bram nodded and joined in as he remembered the line, “Cause I never truly lied,’ yes! You killed it, Si.” Bram opened his arms, and Simon moved forward to hug him. As he hugged Bram, he felt a quick moment of moist pressure on his cheek.

A kiss.

Simon felt his ears turn red as they pulled away. He looked at Bram, who couldn’t stop smiling and was looking away.

“Yeah, um, I’ve been meaning to tell you, Si… I’ve had a crush on you for a little bit… a while…” Bram laughed at himself. “Pretty much from the moment we met.” Simon felt his face go red as more tears streamed from his eyes.

“But…”

“Yeah, I didn’t tell you because…well, like you said, I didn’t really tell people.” Simon gasped in dawning understanding.

“Is that why you were angry after the game?” Bram hid his face in his hand.

“Yeah, it was dumb. Taylor is really cool, by the way. She’s… she’s kinda the reason I did what I did? She immediately knew I liked you and basically said I should stop being such a wuss.” Simon chuckled.

“Who’d’ve thought Taylor would be a good wingman?” Simon looked back at the building. “Wait, is that why Martin asked if he should steer clear of the dorm?”

“I think he thinks we’re dating?” Bram laughed. Simon wiped the tears from his eyes. The happy, shocked, joyous tears that just would not stop falling.

“Well we wouldn’t wanna disappoint him, now would we?” Bram looked at him, a coy grin on his face.

“Simon Spier, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Bram Greenfeld, would you maybe wanna get coffee, or dinner, or lunch, or any edible item with me?” Bram closed the gap between them.

“Coffee sounds excellent” The two breathed, practically shaking from the excitement. “I should tell you I really wanna kiss you right now.” Simon shook his head.

“No, you don’t, I’m tired and emotional, I’m sobbing like a child, and I’m still sweaty from all the—” Simon was cut off as Bram’s lips pressed against his. He gave in and kissed him back, enjoying this moment of pure bliss. Bram pulled away from him, breathless.

“Was that okay?”

Simon nodded vigorously. “More than okay. For you?”

“It was tiring, and sweaty, and emotional.” Simon covered his face with the bouquet, but Bram pushed it aside. “And it was perfect.” He leaned forward and the two kissed again, keeping each other warm in the brisk night air.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a lot of fun to write, I'm kinda surprised I'm just barely managing to get it up though! As I mentioned yesterday my laptop isn't working, so fics are prolly gonna be slow going until I can get the cable to fix that.  
> In case you were actually somehow interested in that part of the story, Losing Faith is actually a musical that I'm trying to write, and you can learn more about it and the characters at the [Losing Faith Ask Blog](https://asklosingfaith.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. If you want to talk to me directly on tumblr, check out [official-didney-worl-elmo](https://official-didney-worl-elmo.tumblr.com/) and send me a note telling me if you liked the fic!
> 
> Thank you so much for your support throughout this week, I've loved all the comments i've received and it makes my day. Here's hoping I can crank something out for tomorrow. Thank you so much for your comments and kudos and thank you so much for reading! ok bye


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